Experience

• 2017

  Became 45th president of the United States

• 2016

  Won election race with 77 votes more than Clinton, yippe-kee-yay!

• 2009

  Changed my mind and became Republican again

• 2005

  Started Trump University with Michael Sexton and Jonathan Spitalny: no grades, certificates and other bureaucracy, but program offered courses in real estate, asset management entrepreneurship, and wealth creation. 98% students gave positive reviews while studying, however some of these ungrateful gringos filed lawsuits against Trump University after the course. I had to pay $25 million to settle that...

• 2001

  Completed Trump World Tower and joined the Democratic Party

• 1997

  Began a multi-building development along the Hudson River, which was named Trump Place. Me and the other investors sold our shares for $1.8 billion and that was then the biggest residential sale in the history of New York City

• 1994

  Refurbished the Gulf and Western Building on Columbus Circle, turned it into a 44-story luxury property known as Trump International Hotel and Tower

• 1989, 1990

  Learned about Tour de France and decided to hold my very own Tour de Trump. Is America not great enough for that cycling competition?

• 1987

  Registered as a Republican

• 1980

  Started developing the Trump Tower skyscraper in Manhattan, I payed a crew of undocumented Polish workers to demolish the historic Bonwit Teller store, including art deco features. All this to make architectural critic Paul Goldberger say in 1983 that the tower's atrium is "the most pleasant interior public space to be completed in New York in some years". At the same time I also started a repair job on the Wollman Rink in Central Park and completed the work in three months for $1.95 million, which was $775,000 less than the initial budget!

• 1971

  Was promoted to president of the company and renamed it The Trump Organization

• 1968

  Began my career at my father's real estate development company, Elizabeth Trump & Son

Personal Life

• 2006

  Melania gained United States citizenship and gave birth to our son, Barron

• 2005

  Married her

• 1999

  I had to divorce again(((

• 1998

  Met my future third wife, Melania Knauss

• 1993

  Married Marla and had a daughter, we named her Tiffany, because I like Tiffany & Company jewellery as well

• 1992

  Started affair with Marla Maples, so I had to divorce. God knows I love nice women, I love them all!

• 1984

  Birth of Eric Trump

• 1982

  Birth of Ivanka Trump

• 1977

  My first son is born. I called him Donald, of course!

• 1977

  Married Czech model Ivana Zelníčková